The Five Functions of Behavior – Now What? Escape
“Praise should deal, not with the child’s personality attributes, but with his efforts and achievements. ”
For four years, I put Hope in time out when she was acting disrespectful. She especially acted disrespectful any time I corrected her. I assumed she was acting in revenge for my correction. The time outs never worked and, in fact, usually made the situation much worse.
When I finally explored the reason behind the behavior, my response changed and so did her disrespectful behavior! As I learned the Five Functions of Behavior and I asked Hope why she was disrespectful when I corrected her, I realized that she was trying to escape the situation because she felt like she had failed.
Escape is of the functions of behavior. Your child may be escaping an undesirable task, a person or people, a challenging demand, a non-preferred task or anything they don’t “like.”
So, what can we do? How can we help our child complete the required task or remain in the unwanted situation with good behavior?
1. Teach your child about demands and rewards with a “first-then” board. First-then boards help children see what comes as a result of their efforts. They can see the schedule and understand what comes when. For children with emotional dysregulation or neuro-diversity, this can be extremely helpful.
2. Visual Schedules can help children see when their breaks and positive reinforcements are coming. This often helps them work through difficult or unwanted tasks. The ChoiceWorks App has a wonderful electronic visual schedule that also functions as a first-then board. Whenever possible, allow your child to choose the order of difficult tasks and the rewards they earn for their efforts.
3. Social Stories are wonderful for teaching children the expected order and pace of difficult situations. Introducing challenging tasks to a child through a Social Story can help them feel more comfortable, encourage discussion and allow them to address their concerns before the situation is at hand. There are many apps and books with excellent social stories on every topic you can imagine. After reading many social stories, you will begin to make them up yourself. Although Social Stories have a specific pattern and purpose, don’t be afraid to start experimenting on the fly with your own. Sometimes imperfect is better than nothing at all.
4. Offer your child choices whenever possible. Even if the choices seem trite and simple. Let me give you some examples of choices that work wonders for my kids:
Won’t go to bed:
“Would you like mommy or daddy to take you to bed?”
“Would you like to pick a book or mommy pick?”
“Before we go upstairs, would you like to get some water or go potty?”
“Do you want to dream about butterflies or horses tonight? If you go upstairs without a fuss, I will tell you a dream starter story.”
Won’t eat:
“Would you like a fork or spook with dinner?”
“Would you like milk or water for dinner?”
“Would you like to eat at the counter or table today?”
Wants to be carried:
“Would you like me to walk with you to the car like a chicken or an elephant?”
“Would you like to choose the first song or have a piece of gum for walking to the car without a fuss?”
Won’t do schoolwork:
“Would you like me to sit next to you or read you a book afterwards?”
“Would you rather do 5 problems for a 2-minute break or 10 problems for a 5-minute break?”
“Would you rather do math or reading first?”
5. Set Clear Expectations! This is so difficult sometimes, but so crucial! Kids often fail simply because they did not fully understand our expectations. Read my posts on Do what I mean, Not what you heard and Peanut Butter Sandwich Experiment, which discuss how to set clear and understandable expectations.
6. Follow Through! In other words, don’t cave in! If you have demanded a certain behavior or task from your child, you must not give up. You must help them through the demand and provide the agreed upon reward every time. All kids, but especially those with neuro-diversity, need clear expectations and boundaries. Without these, they will fail to adjust their behavior long term. Read my posts on Momentum = Success and 100% Consistency for more specific examples on this topic.
Next:
Determine the function of your child’s behavior. Once you think you have determined it’s function, try working through some of the strategies for addressing it.
If these strategies work, excellent, you are on the path toward positive change.
If these strategies do not motivate your child to change, consider one of the other functions and work through those strategies.
More:
Why is she acting like this? The Five Functions of Behavior
The Five Functions of Behavior – Now What? Access to a Tangible Item
The Five Functions of Behavior – Now What? Attention
The Five Functions of Behavior – Now What? Automatic
The Five Functions of Behavior – Now What? Control